


Forget Me Not

by sniperi



Series: In which I write all the scenes I don't WANT to write because I wanted to watch them in KH III [2]
Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Game: Kingdom Hearts III, Spoilers - Kingdom Hearts III
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-18
Updated: 2019-02-18
Packaged: 2019-10-31 01:32:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17839874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sniperi/pseuds/sniperi
Summary: (KH III SPOILERS)After Ventus’s awakening, he and Aqua provide Axel and Kairi some much needed help with their keyblade training. But for Axel, between his mind seemingly playing tricks on him, a forgotten memory hovering just out of his reach, and Ventus’s uncanny resemblance to Roxas, things are...complicated.





	Forget Me Not

**Author's Note:**

> I really liked the cutscenes with Axel and Kairi early in the game, but I would’ve loved even more to see their actual training, and get more of a look at Axel’s disconnect when it comes to his lost memories of Xion, and his feelings about Roxas. I wanted to explore that a little and ended up getting carried away, since Axel’s POV ended up being kind of fun to narrate in. So...multi chapter fic? Maybe??
> 
> It's worth mentioning that all the fics in this series will be running on an absolutely whacked out timeline in comparison to canon, because I favor the idea of all our heroes being reunited a little at a time throughout the plot of KH III.

Axel's world had been turned upside down. Okay - emotionally, yes, but also in a literal, physical sense. Because he had just been knocked on his ass yet again by Aqua ( _Master_ Aqua, he had been corrected multiple times by Yen Sid, but nah, he was never a formal title kind of guy). 

The aforementioned ass-kicker of a master sent her keyblade back into the aether before coming to squat next to him, her eyes following his line of sight to Ventus and Kairi sparring nearby. Not a hint of irritation could be heard in her voice when she spoke next, which was wild to Axel considering just how awful he had been doing on this particular day. If days even counted as a measurement in this magicked up place Yen Sid had prepared for them. "Is it Kairi that keeps distracting you, or is it Ven?" 

"Yes," he muttered noncommitally before sitting up and rolling his neck, wincing at the unholy crack that resulted from it. So, good: either she thought he was a total creep or it was about to be 'talk about your feelings hour' again, and why did that happen _so much_ with these people, had they never heard of good old-fashioned repression? "Let's keep going, I think I'm getting the hang of this." He took Aqua's hand when it was offered and she pulled him to his feet with strength that was only a little surprising. She smiled and shook her head.

"No, let's take a quick break. You won't be able to improve if your heart's not in it." And without any room for argument, she was off, seemingly heading for the spot where they had stashed their goodies (now regrettably off-limits to Axel after he consumed an alarming amount of ice cream in a bid to impress Kairi on Day One). He sighed, settling on a rock he had very nearly cracked his head open on earlier and trying to stop his eyes from wandering back to the pair that was still sparring. Ventus may not have been a master yet, but he must've been an amazing teacher, because Kairi had been improving in leaps and bounds. Then again, Kairi was a determined student. She had declared herself ready to protect Sora and Riku for a change and thrown herself into trying to improve immediately, with the kind of boundless enthusiasm usually seen from Sora himself. Yet here was Axel, who should have just as much fervor considering everything he had to prove and atone for, utterly failing.

No excuse for it, really. He knew why Ventus was distracting - despite the fact that he remembered their brief meeting back in Radiant Garden now, knew he was a _completely_ different person than Roxas, it didn't change how he looked. Seeing him out of the corner of his eye, hearing him talk, laugh, even the sounds he made when he put particular effort into the swing of his keyblade - it took concentration to ignore it when all he could see and hear was Roxas, Roxas, Roxas. He missed him, and holy hell did it hurt. Knowing his heart was real now and that these feelings were more than just a trick of his imagination was good, it helped, but it didn't take away the persistent sting.

And then, when he looked at Kairi, something that was frustratingly unknown to him was just...off. He couldn't shake the nagging feeling he was forgetting something terribly important. Even worse than that, seeing Kairi and Ventus together, the feeling was even worse. It was like a memory was at the edge of his mind, words at the tip of his tongue, an itch he could never scratch. No amount of agonizing over it led any closer to an understanding of it. The whole thing left a bad taste in his mouth and soured his mood. What was wrong with him? The only things he should've been focusing on were: A) Roxas, and B) making himself useful in the mess that was slowly but surely coming to a head.

His sullen musing was cut short when a granola bar and a bottle of water were pressed into his hands. Ah, Aqua was back. "Nice healthy snack," he said, both of them clearly knowing it translated to 'excuse me but this isn't ice cream'. He twisted the cap off the bottle and guzzled half of it in one go anyway, because damn if that black coat didn't make him overheat. Annoying as it was, he was reluctant to let go of it, despite being given new clothes. It was almost a comfort item at this point, something familiar he could hang onto.

"Whatever's on your mind, wallowing in it on your own won't help. The whole point of us working together is that we're all here for each other.”

She was right, of course, but suddenly the conversation was serious and focused on him, and it felt more stifling than his sweaty coat. “Just have a lot on my mind, I guess,” he conceded, finishing off the rest of the bottle and opening the noisy foil wrapper on the granola bar. “Mostly Roxas.”

“You mentioned he looks just like Ven. I can see how that would be hard for you.” Her eyes drifted over to the pair, smiling fondly at Ventus. “You should talk to him. Get familiar with him again and see him for who he really is. Getting Roxas back is just a matter of time.”

“Yeah, well, that’s not the only problem,” he replied around a mouthful of granola. “My head is scrambled or something. Got a screw loose.”

She gave him a questioning look, one eyebrow raised. Okay, fine, so he needed to go into more detail. But how to explain without sounding like an actual nut job?

“It’s like I’m forgetting something, and I’m constantly on the verge of remembering, but it’s never enough. And when I look at her-” he cut himself off there, the remnants of his granola bar dropping to the ground as his grip went totally slack. Kairi had just pulled off an impressive block, her expression dead serious and her stance strong as her keyblade locked with Ventus’s. Suddenly Axel is on his feet and he can almost _feel_ the memories, the clock tower and keyblades, seasalt ice cream, feelings of guilt and worry, helplessness, affection-

And then it was gone in an instant, leaving him with only the sudden realization that he had tears rolling down his cheeks and Aqua was in the middle of trying to ask him what was wrong, her expression a mix between alarm and concern. Oh God, okay, now Kairi and Ventus were looking over too and this was definitely too much for one day. He dried his eyes quickly, excusing himself with no more than a muttered ‘stomach ache, sorry.’ Diligently ignoring their concerned expressions, he made his way to the glowing pink crystal that served as a gateway back to Yen Sid’s tower and activated it, disappearing in a flash of light.

Just what _was_ wrong with him?

———————————————-------------------------------------------------------------------------------———- 

Apparently fleeing to the tower was sort of an ‘out of the frying pan and into the fire’ situation, because of course Yen Sid was nosy about what was going on with him, too. Axel fed him the same explanation he gave Aqua, because that was all he knew, really. 

“Memories and the heart are very closely connected,” came the stoic reply, and wow, Axel was pretty sure he had stood there for a solid five minutes waiting for the old geezer to actually say something. “Your heart has been through great turmoil not too long ago, has it not? It’s possible the memory you’re searching for is inaccessible to you in your heart’s current state.” 

“So, what, it’s locked up in there somewhere? Everyone and their grandma here has a keyblade, so why don’t we just get to unlocking?” Bam, simple solution, how did no one else come up with that? Yen Sid’s expression turned grave, though, so maybe it wasn’t the best idea after all. 

“Unlocking a heart by force is a reckless practice, only to be used in the most dire circumstances. There are very few situations in which a heart can’t heal itself with time and the proper care.” 

Axel deflated a little at that. He had been hoping with all this fuss over it that there would at least be a quick fix. “So just sit tight and wait, huh? For, eh...curiosity’s sake, what _could_ happen if you go unlocking somebody’s heart like that?” 

“In the worst case scenario, both heart and body could be lost.” 

Right, okay, so even if he had been feeling a little impatient and reckless (which he usually was, unfortunately), that did seem like a seriously bad idea. He clicked his tongue against his teeth, shrugging it off. “Gotcha. Sounds like bad news. I’m gonna call it a night for now, then. Rest the old heart and all that good stuff.” 

Yen Sid only gave a thoughtful hum in response, and he took that as close enough to being permission to take his leave, so he turned heel and headed down the stairs and through a winding corridor leading to...the closest approximation to bedrooms this place had. Each had a window with a view and a bed long enough that he could stretch his legs out without them dangling off the mattress, so that was already a little more classy than his accommodations at Castle Oblivion. He frowned at the sudden resurgence of memories about the castle. The only good ones he had involved Roxas, the rest ranging from neutral to unpleasant to downright _icky_. 

But whatever, the floodgate was already open, might as well focus on the good stuff. He kicked his boots off near the doorway, unzipping his coat and shucking it off on the way to the bed, letting it drop to the floor. The good stuff...he remembered meeting Roxas for the first time. He was a little zombie-like, sure, but he was new and interesting, and it seemed like the obvious thing to take him under his wing. 

Sitting on the bed, he let himself flop back as dead weight, hair fanning out in a chaotic mess around his head. He called up another memory; Roxas’s look of wide-eyes surprise when he first tasted seasalt ice cream. It was one of the first real reactions he ever got out of the half pint, and he had reveled in it at the time, though he had no real idea why. His mouth twitched into a tiny smirk thinking about it. Pulling Roxas out of his shell, seeing him settle into his personality, teaching him what he knew; the whole experience was something special, for sure. There were countless nights where he and Roxas would stay up until the early morning hours talking about something just for the latter to nod off in Axel’s bed, and well, what kind of jerk would wake him up and kick him out? Not Axel, apparently. Saix always had particularly scathing looks for him after nights like that, and somehow _that_ never stopped stinging. At the time he had still been under the impression that he had no heart; that none of what he was feeling could possibly be real. He couldn’t bring himself to believe it until suddenly Roxas was leaving and it was all falling apart. 

_“No one would miss me,”_ were the words Roxas had spit at him, an absolute bitterness in his voice, and in that exact moment Axel knew what he was feeling had to be heartache. It gripped his chest like a fist squeezing the life out of him, and he felt it every subsequent time he managed to see Roxas after that, after his memories were tampered with and he was dumped in that data town. 

Whoa, okay, that happy memory train veered right off the tracks and burst into flames. Axel squeezed his eyes shut with a sigh. Still, he had to wonder. There didn’t seem to be any gaps in his memory, so what could the mysterious piece he was missing possibly be? Something from before he became a nobody? He seemed to have most of those memories back already, if not all of them. And even if that was the case, why would Kairi be the trigger for his heart trying to remember whatever he was missing? 

Like always, wondering and fretting was getting him nowhere. Time to drop it before it kept him up all night (again). He threw an arm over his eyes, forcing his expression to fall into something more relaxed, and within the hour he was able to surrender himself to sleep. He dreamed of the clock tower, of Roxas, and while they laughed and idly chatted with their legs dangling over the edge, he didn’t spare a second thought as to why he held a third bar of ice cream in his hands. 


End file.
